Chapter One Hundred: Another Soak in Medicinal Wine

How did that old verse go again? Something about rain beating on banana leaves and draping them in sorrow, the moon in one’s heart blushing shyly before the world. But let us not dwell on the poem’s deeper mood; let us take it purely at face value.

Last night had already been destined to be a sleepless one for the Chen household. Early in the morning, Mrs. Chen was up with a face as fresh as a cherry, busying herself with breakfast and especially making each member of the family a bowl of egg-drop soup.

When Xiaoyu and her elder sister-in-law met, they both thought, Goodness, Xiaoyu’s skin looks amazing today, and so does my sister-in-law’s.

Indeed, the elder sister-in-law was not ugly to begin with, but her complexion had always been dull and lifeless, like a faded, weary housewife.

That morning, however, she was rosy-faced, and even the look in her eyes carried a teasing, springlike charm.

When Xiaoyu was sent off to work in the morning, she clung to Chen Liang, unwilling to leave his embrace.

It was only when Chen Liang ended up scrubbing the office floor all over again that the exhausted Xiaoyu finally let him go.

It wasn’t even the rainy season yet, and the office was already so damp. Truly exasperating.

When a man regains his strength, his vigor remains intact; he rises again and takes command of the household. Compared with Chen Liang, the only thing missing was a cup of that secret virility wine.

“Truth is only within range of the cannon,” Bismarck once said, and Chen Liang wholeheartedly agreed.

After personally experiencing that secret medicinal liquor, which was even more potent than the little blue pill, Chen Liang developed serious anxiety, fearing that one day his power might suddenly fail him.

Six hundred jin might sound like a lot, but one must not forget that Chen Liang had promised to send a whole vat to Zhang Cheng and Zhang Yi up in the Northeast.

After soothing Xiaoyu and letting her rest, Chen Liang went over to Old Lu’s place and brought him another jug.

There still weren’t enough herbs in the supermarket to soak two more vats, so Chen Liang went out to buy more. He followed the same order as before, bought the same herbs, and once he saw the street was empty, he stored them all away in the supermarket.

When he got home and saw that Foolish Zhu had finally managed to get out of bed, Chen Liang immediately went over to tease him.

“Foolish Zhu, feeling better?” Chen Liang gave his lower body a sly glance.

“Better your grandma’s leg. You know damn well why, don’t you?” Shazhu shot back sourly. “Liangzi, what kind of wine did you give me? That stuff is way too overbearing. No one can take it.”

“Ha! Foolish Zhu, do you know how pigs die?”

“How should I know? From hunger? From falling?”

He had no idea what a modern joke was supposed to be.

“Ha, neither. Pigs die because they’re too stupid.”

Shazhu, who still did not get the meaning, stared at him. “Liangzi, are you saying I’m stupid?”

“Isn’t that obvious? How much of that wine did you drink yesterday?”

“One cup,” Shazhu answered honestly, holding up a finger for him to see.

If this were twenty years later, just that finger alone would have earned him a slap from me, and he’d better believe it.

“One cup, but how much was that? One liang or two?”

“Two liang.”

The moment Chen Liang heard that, he gave him a thumbs-up. “Damn impressive. I only dare drink half a liang. The fact that you didn’t die in bed proves you’re a real man.”

“You should’ve said so earlier...”

“And why would I? You never asked me. How is that my fault? Can we be reasonable here?”

Shazhu was left speechless. Right, he had only known it was an aphrodisiac wine; he had never asked Chen Liang how much he was supposed to drink.

But if Shazhu were capable of admitting fault, that would truly be a miracle. “You were clearly trying to make a joke out of me. You deliberately didn’t say!”

Stubborn as a dead duck, Chen Liang rolled his eyes. “You’ve got some nerve. Listen, Foolish Zhu, you overdid it this time. For the next few days, drink a qian in the morning, at noon, and at night to rebuild your strength. Don’t fool around for now. Otherwise, I’m really afraid you’ll end up impotent ahead of schedule.”

The moment Shazhu heard that, he panicked. “For real? Liangzi, don’t scare me.”

“False. Believe it or not, that’s your business.”

Still busy with the herbs, Chen Liang said to Shazhu, “If you’ve got nothing to do, come lend a hand. This wine is too good. I need to soak two more vats.”

Shazhu only shook his head. “Liangzi, my legs are still weak. I really can’t help. You take your time. I’m going back to rest again.”

What a pathetic soft-footed weakling. And he still had the face to compare himself with me all day long. Useless.

After having handled the herbs once already, Chen Liang worked much faster this time and finished the whole thing in one afternoon.

By the time both the Chen household and Shazhu’s place were filled with the smell of medicinal herbs, Chen Liang did not care. He found Shazhu sunning himself at the door, sipping tea with wolfberries in it, and said, “Foolish Zhu, remember to go to the grocery and order another six hundred jin of sorghum liquor.”

“No problem. But Liangzi, you really don’t need to pay me back. How about treating this wine as my share? I don’t want much. Let me have a little every day, and that’ll do.”

Shazhu refused the money Chen Liang tried to hand him, and instead immediately set his sights on the liquor.

“Well, would you look at that. If anyone says you’re stupid in front of me again, I’ll smack them twice. You’re the kind of man who gets sharper the more feathers you have on you, smarter than a monkey.”

Shazhu did not care. “Just tell me whether it works or not.”

Chen Liang was not a stingy man either. As long as he had the recipe, he could soak as much as he wanted.

“You’ve already opened your mouth. What else can I do? Fine, it’s settled. But I’m not paying for the sorghum liquor.”

“That’s perfect. Come on, Liangzi, drink some water. I put wolfberries in it.”

That night, when the Chen family came home and caught a whiff of the medicinal odor, each of them lowered their heads and ate in silence. Even Mrs. Chen did not say a word.

So the prerequisite for family harmony was simple: the man had to have enough firepower.

Shazhu was quite efficient. The next day, with his legs still weak and one hand on the wall for support, he forced himself to the grocery and ordered six hundred jin of sorghum liquor.

On the third day, he dragged Chen Liang along to help carry the liquor back. Then the two of them secretly soaked it in the room of the deaf old matriarch, filling the whole place with the smell of alcohol and provoking the old lady into raising her cane to beat them.

Enduring the old lady’s cane, Chen Liang and Shazhu finally sealed the mouth of the vat with mud, then fled in a panic.

At last the great task was done. Their bodies were covered in mud and sweat, and the two of them went off together to the bathhouse for a wash.

When Chen Liang reached the public bathhouse, he did not even bother buying a ticket properly. He stuck his head straight through the ticket window and said, “Hey, you little bastard, give me two tickets.”

“Brother Liang, you’re here? Two tickets, right?” The ticket seller quickly tore off two passes, but it was obvious he had something he wanted to say. Chen Liang only waved him off. “We’ll talk later. I’m covered in mud right now.”

Ever since that last soak, Chen Liang had smoothly evolved into a regular bathhouse addict. Whenever he had nothing to do, he would come here to soak, scrub off the dirt, sip tea, and watch people play chess. In this way, an entire afternoon could pass with effortless ease.

Once inside the changing room, he habitually tossed a Red Pagoda Mountain cigarette to the old man at the door, then carried a small bamboo basket with him and went to change clothes.