Chapter Thirteen: Robbing the Mountain Bandits

The villagers of Sunset Glow Village usually went to the town market to buy and sell goods. On the first and fifteenth of every month, there was a large market; on the third, sixth, and ninth, there were smaller ones. The town was relatively close, and they could return the same day—if they left early enough in the morning, they might even be back by noon. Moreover, the road to town was safer, following the main official road and passing several villages such as Falling Cloud Village, Setting Sun Village, and Rainbow Village. The stretches through wilderness were few and short.

Going to the county seat was a different matter. On foot, it took two hours one way—four hours round trip. Since a day and night made up twelve hours, and daylight in autumn lasted just about six hours, most of the day would be wasted on the road. If anything delayed them, they wouldn’t make it back the same day.

Additionally, the path to the county seat was mostly mountain trails, crossing several small ridges and passing only one other village—Smoke Village, just south of the southern hills of Sunset Glow Village. Beyond Smoke Village, it was all wilderness, with no villages or shops in sight.

If they wanted to take the official road, they’d have to make a huge detour to Sunset Glow Town, then follow the main road southwest. On foot, it might take an entire day to reach the county seat.

“And that’s not all,” Zhao Laixi added, “I hear there are often bandits on the way to the county seat.”

“I’m not afraid. Earning more money is the most important thing,” Little Ding replied.

“Brother…” Zhao Laixi looked at Little Ding.

“We should get going now—leave early, return early,” Little Ding urged, not waiting for Zhao Laixi to finish.

“Brother…” Zhao Laixi’s mouth twisted into a grimace. He thought, reasoning with this fool was hopeless. He wanted to say more, but Little Ding had already hoisted the wolf onto his shoulder and was heading out of the courtyard. Zhao Laixi had no choice but to follow.

“Foolish Brother, come home early!” Little Pearl waved her small hand, calling after Little Ding’s retreating figure.

“I will. Just wait for me at home!” Little Ding called back.

Leaving the courtyard, heading east through the village led to Sunset Glow Town. Heading west, slightly north, was the road to Sunset Glow Mountain. Going a bit west, there was a small road stretching south-southwest—the mountain path to the county seat.

After confirming the way with Zhao Laixi and ignoring his protests, Little Ding strode off toward the county seat. Zhao Laixi had no choice but to hurry after him.

Little Ding was quick on his feet, his energy flowing, feeling as if he had boundless strength. Carrying nearly two hundred pounds of gray wolf on his shoulder was nothing to him.

Zhao Laixi, on the other hand, was rather frail. He ran and stumbled along, just managing to keep up, but after less than three miles, he was sweating and gasping for breath.

The path wasn’t particularly difficult; it had clearly been maintained before and could even accommodate carts. The challenging part was climbing several hills along the way. Once they passed Smoke Village, they were deep in the wilderness, far from any village, with dense forests flanking the road in places—a bit unnerving.

After another two or three miles, Zhao Laixi began to lag behind. Little Ding walked ahead for a while, then stopped on the road to wait for him.

Soon, Zhao Laixi came panting and stumbling over.

“Brother-in-law, are you alright? Can you still walk?” Little Ding asked.

“I—I—oh, I’m exhausted!” Zhao Laixi plopped down on the ground, gasping for air. “Brother, can’t we rest for a bit?”

Seeing Zhao Laixi so worn out, Little Ding was speechless. He looked up; it was nearly noon. They had to reach the county seat by midday, or there wouldn’t be enough time in the afternoon.

“Brother-in-law, come on, I’ll carry you,” Little Ding said, not waiting for a reply. He slipped his left arm around Zhao Laixi’s waist, tucked him under his arm like a puppy, and strode off toward the county seat, paying no heed to Zhao Laixi’s comfort.

They moved even faster than before, covering over six miles in no time—half the journey was behind them.

Just then, a dozen ragged men suddenly leapt out from the woods and undergrowth on either side of the road, brandishing wooden clubs, sticks, or kitchen knives, blocking Little Ding’s way.

The leader, a black-faced man, shouted, “Hey! This mountain is mine, this tree I planted. If you want to pass—if you want to pass…” He paused, turning to the pockmarked man beside him and whispered, “Hey, Scarface Wang, what’s the next line?”

“Hand over your money for the toll!” Little Ding answered with a smile. He had already set Zhao Laixi and the wolf down.

“That’s right, hand over your money for the toll! And if you dare say no, I’ll—I’ll…” The black-faced man faltered again.

“I’ll kill but not bury you!” Little Ding supplied with another grin.

“Yes, I’ll kill but not bury you! Wait—how do you know that? Are you a bandit too?” The black-faced man asked suspiciously.

“Oh, it’s nothing. Bandits always use the same lines,” Little Ding replied cheerfully. “But I’m not a bandit—I’m a bandit-hunter!” He chuckled.

“You brat, you dare mock me! Brothers, get him! Break his legs first!” yelled the leader, leading the group as they charged with their weapons.

Zhao Laixi was filled with regret. He thought, This fool has really gotten me into trouble! The very thing I feared—bandits—has come to pass. Could my luck get any worse?

Seeing the bandits rushing over ferociously, he simply crouched down, hugging his head and closing his eyes, awaiting his fate. But after a long moment, all he heard was a cacophony of clattering, followed by cries of pain.

Curious, Zhao Laixi opened his eyes. The dozen bandits lay sprawled on the ground, groaning and wailing.

And that fool, Little Ding, was holding a wooden club—who knows where he got it—herding the bandits together. If anyone disobeyed, he’d whack them with the club, making them howl in pain.

“Come on, gather over here! Whoever doesn’t move gets hit! That’s right, that’s right!” Little Ding called out cheerfully, brandishing the club.

“Alright, that’s good! Now for the most important part—hand over all your money!” Little Ding waved his club threateningly.

What? Hand over money? The bandits stared at each other in disbelief. Who’s the real bandit here? We’re the genuine article! Why are you robbing us? It’s not easy being a bandit—can’t you go easy on us?

Truly—

Never one to bow to fate, I’d even dare rob a bandit;
What’s the greatest farce of all? Punching Uncles and kicking Elders!